what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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