i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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