Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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