I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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