my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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