Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
