Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize