PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
