There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
