If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
