When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize