just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
it glows. i had to have it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
