remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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