I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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