This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
