I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
