Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
