tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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