ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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