There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I bet he comes in French.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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