is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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