Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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