no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
