in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
