does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
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