Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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