I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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