i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
