I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize