his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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