I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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