We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
