Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
