She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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