I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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