but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
