He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
