Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
