Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
