You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
