Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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