And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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