forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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