Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
