I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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