Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
