We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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