i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i've created a new STD.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
