I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You don't make any sense
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