if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
