capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
