I think I am morally bankrupt
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize