Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
