This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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