Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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