I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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