They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
