so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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