we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize