Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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