Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
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