everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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