Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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