so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
